Adventure Log

February 20, 2018
Our Heroes spoke with Darynthiir, King who also happened to be the Tree they were standing on. He told them of Thîrofiir, the great Sur Amaria healer who died and was reborn as a great healing tree. And of a Man who came to them with gifts of metal swords and armor. The Sur Amaria carved him a crown made from a dead branch of Thîrofiir as a gift. He returned 1 year later with an Army lead by a Great Black Dragon and enslaved the Sur Amaria. This man called himself The King of the Rotted Crown. The Sur Amaria were able to push out his armies when they discovered the secret of Ironwood Forging.

Our Heroes then decided to stay the night with a woman Nima called Malaviin, Mother. Staying there they found Szet, the Lizardman whom Rethnor had banished to The Lurkwood. He said that he’d given up his life of cheating at cards and that he was content being a farmer now. When asked about Silvia Rethnor’s ring his eyes betrayed Nima. Szet had given Nima the ring even though Nima knew she wasn’t supposed to have any metal. Regis traded his Flower Staff for the ring.

That night everyone had a familiar but unsettling dream. Aridex dreamed of being at home with his Adoptive parents. His mother had a key around her neck and there was a large box on the kitchen table. She denied knowing anything about a box. Sunny dreamt of being on a boat bound for Maztika but there was no one else on the boat. Her friends had abandoned her and she was alone again. Qoto was king of an unknown realm but fed only stale bread and water. Sir Tinnitus was home in Cormyr but dirty and in peasants clothes. And Regis was on a heist with his old Father Figure/Mentor Locke. They were cutting down guards and escaping traps when Locke took a QUARREL to the eye falling down dead.

Regis woke up from that Nightmare to find leaves on him put there by Aridex. And a freaky Pig Monster was waiting for him when he got out courtesy of Sunny.

Aridex left the Box-Baby, that they didn’t even name, with Malaviin, Mother and Our Heroes were on their way to The Grave Tree. Accompanied by a Thorn of Darynthiir, they arrived at entrance to Thîrofiir’s Grove only to find a 10 year old human waiting outside armed with a short sword that she very clearly couldn’t wield. The child’s name was Cindel. She said that “bad men” stole her from her home and brought her here but "Mr. Bear" saved her. She said Mr. Bear was her protector and that if they hurt her Mr. Bear would kill them.

Upon noticing that the Thorn of Darynthiir was missing Regis walked toward the tree to find that the tree they had been seeing was an illusion. Thîrofiir had been burned very recently. It stood, black and smoldering before Regis. That’s when he noticed the glowing eyes, green and red. Initiative was rolled.

February 13, 2018
Our Heroes fought the Wooden Sentinel until a swamp monster popped out of the small pool. The Wood Elf and Wooden Sentinel seemed more interested in killing that so Our Heroes helped and the wood elf called a truce. She introduced herself as Nima, Hunter. She spoke in a sort of proto-elvish that Regis was able to understand pieces of. Regis asked about “grave tree” and Nima replied with a word that was halfway between Grave and Tree, a single word with both meanings. She brought them back to her home Darynthir, Tree. Said that they must speak to Darynthir, King but a guard at the base stopped them. Said only Amaria allowed up in Darynthir, Tree. Which was when everyone noticed that there were a few non-wood elves walking around the area. But they were all dressed like Amaria, in animal skins and wood adornments. Nima brought them to the outskirts of town again where they witnessed a Sur Amaria funeral in which the deceased's heart was cut out and buried it. Aridex suppressed the urge to be super disrespectful.

Nima brought them to the Blood Tree to make a sacrifice. After some struggling with what constitutes a sacrifice Regis and Sunny sacrificed blood (-1hp), Qoto sacrificed his special spices, Sir Tinnitus sacrificed his memory of his friend Tristen McCleric, and Aridex sacrificed a spell scroll of Greater Restoration.

They each got a red leaf and were allowed to pass into Darynthir, Tree. At the top they met with Sîr Barodîn, Speaker who touched the trunk of Darynthir. His eyes rolled back into his head and he spoke, in common this time, “Why do you seek the tree?"

January 4-February 12, 2018
In Neverwinter, our heroes found out that someone is stealing babies. The Orphanage thought it was the creepy Druid who offered to help them. But that just turned out to be Regis, who is 32 now. He and Halia got caught in a Hell Dimension where the King with Three Crowns is raising an army  stolen babies.

They fought the second of the Red Light Djinn that escaped from Wave Echo Cave. This one was a gluttonous dude in a restaurant who was making people eat their own fingers.

In Luskan, the second city in their trip to The Lurkwood, Regis revealed that he can magic now. ExEx also teamed up with a Ship Captain named Silvia Rethnor. She provided them with a portal to The Lurkwood in exchange for them finding her wedding ring on a Lizardfolk, Szet, they sent there a week ago. Our heroes traveled to The Lurkwood via a Teleport Spell and fought two displacer beats and a swarm of snakes.

Then they stumbled into a camp and found a bunch of dead cultists. They found a bunch of Animal Masks, an empty case marked, "Holy Dagger of Skeleton Animation" and a statue of a Black Dragon that seems to negate magic.

Finally, they ran into a large tree-like monster while chasing after a Wood Elf.

January 3, 2018
Qoto revealed himself to be a Tortle Warlock, under the patronage of Nathair (NAY-air), a tiny Pseudodragon that may or may not be a manifestation of the Archfey himself...

Halfway to Neverwinter, the first Major City on their journey to The Lurkwood, Our Heroes set up camp and slept. That night, Sir Tinnitus heard a noise. A box had been dropped off in the middle of the road. After much investigating Our Heroes discovered that it held a Human baby suspended in time and, presumably, protected.

Qoto asked Gorald's Skull of Divination: "Should we return the baby to the people who dropped it?"

Gorald replied in a cryptic whisper, "Only if you want to continue feeding his armies"  That freaked most everyone out. After a deliberation of what to do with the baby, which included asking Sunny to nurse it, they decided to put it back in the box and continue North.

After another day they came upon some Hill Giants. Trying to deal with them diplomatically Sunny inadvertently provoked them and a fight ensued in which Sunny totally killed one with no help whatsoever. Meanwhile, a Floating Skull disguised in a robe tried to steal the Baby Box. Our Heroes were able to very easily deal with it, mainly due to the fact that it crit failed two turns in a row.

What up with the baby in a box? Who are these floating Skull people? There's a magic tree out there or something that we're looking for, right? Does that fit into the baby story?!

December 27, 2017
Sunny found a bump on the floor in the ballroom in Tressendar Manor. She stepped on it but nothing happened. Then she left it alone. Tinnitus commissioned a sign to be placed in the community postings board asking for Book Donations. Then, our Heroes disembarked on their journey to The Lurkwood.

They encountered, after a day's ride, a goblin fighting a young adventurer. After intervening they learned that more were hiding in the bushes. A battle ensued in which Qoto raced from ExEx's carriage and shot beams of energy at their foes. After the fight, they learned that the Adventurer For Hire was escorting a Well To Do family to see The Mirrored Tower in Phandalin. They informed them it was closed though Tinnitus mentioned The Mine was still open. Whether or not he knew this was a lie remains to be seen. They also let the Young Adventurer,, know to stop by Tressendar Manor.

As the carriage pulls away, our heroes slowly turn to Qoto and give him a look of bewilderment. Qoto licks excess pie off his finders.

December 20, 2017
Jubilent Gale tried to trick Our Heroes by telling them that another merchent was the voice that Aridex recognizes. She hid in her merchant cart. Once found she said that he was a nice man and didn't want Our Heroes to kill him. Gale has an unfortunate world view. After getting as much money out of Our Heroes as she could she gave them a message from The Voice: "Aridex, you won’t find me by looking. Instead, find the tree that bears golden fruit. There you find a man who walks the world with a pierced heart.  Find him, find me." Which made complete sense and Our Heroes knew exactly what to do next. But really they went home to Phandalin. Their new HQ was ready for them. A newly redone Tressendar Manor. Complete with Chef.

Chef Qoto had prepared a feast. After 8 or 9 courses they retired for pie. Where Krevla stopped by and told them of rumors she had heard of a Tree that bore golden fruit. She had heard tales of it being in The Lurkwood. Qoto mentioned that he would LOVE to make a pie with a Golden Apple and would therefore love to tag along if Our Heroes decided to adventure there.

The next morning, Sunny investigated every room in Tressendar she could. And rolled super poorly so she didn't find anything. Aridex visited the Stonehill Inn where Pip Stonehill informed Aridex that business was down since the Mirrored Tower left. Then he went to Krevla's and bought 3 Health Potions. Tinnitus then went to the Townmaster's Hall to talk to Trilena Stonehill. She informed him that the town is about to be in trouble. She pleaded with the Owl of Wands to give her more time to prepare for their departure but the Owl refused. With the Tower gone and Wave Echo Cave collapsed she is going to try and court a mining company to take over the Black Spider Mining Co.'s contract to help with the local econemy. Tinitus suggested that Tressendar could open up a library. Trilena said she would see if she could find any books for it and suggested Tinnitus find some rare books to attrack people to the Library.

What will Our Heroes find on the way to The Lurkwood? Who is this Mysterious Chef that wants to travel with him? What's the deal with all these cryptic messages The Voice keeps leaving behind? Like, c'mon, can't these people just say "Meet me at Walmart in a week?" JEE-ZUS.

December 13, 2017
Regis confessed to poisoning Running Water under orders of Halia. R.W. explained the backstory of Halia’s anger. In the 10 years Our Heroes were frozen in stone, an Elemancer rose to power. He threatened to destroy the City of Neverwinter by controlling the Fire Elementals that live under the nearby Mountain. Halia, Sildar, Dawn Ah, and Running Water went to face him. During the fight, R.W. was charmed by the Elemancer and forced to fight at his side. R.W. pecked out Halia’s eyes and pushed her face down into a puddle of Lava. Halia, Sildar, Dawn Ah, and R.W. were unable to stop the Elemancer and he caused Mount Hotenow to erupt destroying much of Neverwinter. Halia blames R.W. for her blindness and for the entire destruction of Neverwinter. All because he failed a saving throw. Damn Halia. That’s cold.

R.W. went to the door of The Bloody Fang and when he opened it noticed that it didn’t lead outside, but into The Happy Jackal. Halia was there waiting for him. Happy Jack remarked, “Now there’s a face I never thought I’d see again.”  And the door closed with R.W. and Regis on the other end.

“That was weird.” Said Calcaneus. Aridex, Tinnitus, Sunny, sat in silence for a while then bid farewell to Calcaneus who said, “If you ever find yourselves in Cormyr, look me up.”

Upon leaving The Bloody Fang they came face to face with a comically old man in priests garb who begged them to save his order’s precious idol from his burning Temple. Sunny entered the Temple to find a Fire Elemental having its way with the place. Aridex flew into the air and Mage Handed the Idol only to find out that it had a giant raging erection. There was some awkward silence. Our Heroes defeated the fire elemental, mainly due to Sunny’s Fire Resistance, and left the Temple to find the Old Man who asked if they touched… it. Upon Aridex revealing that he did not the Old Man laughed uncontrollably and smiled just a tad bigger than a human should be able to smile. As he walked away he told our friends to keep the idol and use it however they wanted. He wouldn’t judge. Then he laughed again. They noticed he had a small pair of wings on his back before he disappeared behind a crowd passing by.

Confused and a little annoyed at having been sent into a burning building on what was apparently just a lark, Our Heroes went to see Jubilant Gale. She asked, in her way, where R.W. was. When they said he went away she said, “Running Water. Find him.”  And Aridex noticed that she said “Find Him” using the same voice from his dream that told Aridex, “Find him. Find me.”

“Who’s voice is that?” Aridex asked.

CUT TO BLACK.

December 6, 2017
Regis slips Running Water Halia's potion and blinds him.

November 29, 2017
You all fought The Tendril of Kriklak. Well... 3/5 of you did. Aridex and Calcaneus spent most of the fight getting familiar with the complexities of the ground. Once out of initiative the Assassin told them what a "Death" was. And here is his explanation conveniently summed up. When a creature dies its soul is expelled from the body by energy. The Cult of Kriklik calls this energy a person's "death." And according to their master collecting enough of this energy will help him become the god of death. Now without this energy, a creature's soul cannot be expelled from its body and will, therefore, die with the creature. The soul will not pass on to the next life... whatever that is. But the energy is captured by the assassins as the soul is being expelled, so we can assume that Radius' soul has passed on. A minor consolation.

Now that you have taken your 8 hours of rest... in the gross cult chamber of the sewer... it's morning above. What is next for Expeditious Expeditions?

November 21, 2017
Our Heroes dispatched of the Zombie Ogre and Thug with little problem. Then descended the stairs to find a small naturally formed cave leading to another section of sewer. They found a series of steam vents with kill switches in cabinets. They dragged the bodies of the Thugs on to them to turn off the steam. Aridex split off with the rest of the group to investigate a shit hole with his mage hand. While he was playing with literal poop Regis got jumped by one of the Assassins. They dispatched the Assassin easily and then set their sites on the other side of the bridge… One Assassin remains as well as the mysterious Tendril of Kriklak.

November 14, 2017
Our heroes interrogated Targus and Aldus. Helped by Aridex’s magical suggestion that Targus tell the truth, it was discovered that the hit taken out against Targus was done at his own asking. He wanted to be killed publicly so that his friend Radius could resurrect him and then he could preach the teachings of Ro’ot with less stigma in his home of Cormyr where Resurrection is a big taboo. Targus atempted to bring his friend Radius back with what he thought was a phoenix feather. Turns out the “Bird Merchant” that he stole it from may have tricked him.

The assassins were named by the bartender, Lufu, as Shadowblades of Kriklak. Kriklak is a shadowy being that wishes to become the God of Death. His servants, The Tendrils of Kriklak, go to different places and dispatch Shadowblades, that will kill people and steal their Deaths. Wherever there is a Shadowblade a Tendril is not far off. Calcaneus believes he knows where it and the other assassins went. There was an open manhole cover outside the Fallen Tower. Targus took Radius back to Lord Neverember’s estate and let Calcaneus travel with our heroes.

They ventured into the sewers and were super stealthy… until Sunny busted into a door pissing off some Thugs who were using the place as a hideout. After a very close call with Aridex’s life, the Thugs were defeated and our heroes took a much deserved rest to ensure they would be prepared for whatever perils were inevitably ahead of them… jk lol Sunny ran downstairs and came face to face with a giant Zombie Ogre.

November 9, 2017
"We open on the image of a blade soaked in blood.  We pan down the blade starting from the tip slowly down to the chest of a man.  We pan up to see the shocked face of Radius Naerinth.  We cut to shots of the shadowy assassins standing behind each of the visiting Cormyrians, blades raised.  We then see Sunset Over the Mountain with Radius’ blood all over her face.  Sunny sees 4 Assassins in dark robes that seem to be translucent and independently flowing. Their blades seem to be made of shadow itself being an absolute black but shifting ethereally.  We see the blades move and just before they connect with their targets we see them reverse.  The blood splatter leaves Sunny’s face and returns to the wound in Radius’ chest.  The blade leaves Radius’ wound and the would closes.  The assassins vanish and waitress picks up the drinks she just set down.  Then she walks, backwards, back to the bar and Sunny snaps out of the most peculiar day dream she just had. And notices… she has her hand on Gorald’s Skull of Divination."Our heroes then investigated the bar while Sir Tinnitus spoke with Targus privately.  Targus asked if he remembered anything about the book of an old crazy cultist from Cormyr.  A cultist who thought that dying and being resurrected held a certain power.  Sunny was able to discern that an assassin was closely approaching having disguised himself as an Orc Ghost.  She grabbed Talus and brought her toward the door just as the Assassins attacked.

They fought. Radius was killed and at that moment the Assassins strangely started to flee. Our heroes were able to take one down thanks to a monster of a crit from Cat Barbarian Supreme, Sunny. And they grappled and tied up another. The other two escaped.

October 25, 2017
Regis was stuck in a casino.

The remainder of our heroes joined Regis in The Shimmering Star and decided to confront the Giants and Halflings dealer. When that didn’t go as expected Regis decided to confront him with his knife. Out of the elf came a demonic Djinn bathed in Red Light (Similar, Tinnitus noted, to the light escaping Wave Echo Cave). They fought it and killed it. And became richer from the Djinn’s Greed. Johmaar Grasp thanked them for freeing his “Temple” of the cursed Djinn. His thanks came in the form of information. He told them that Targus’ Squire, Aldus, was the one who ordered the hit.

Next they decided to see if they could find Targus at the Fallen Tower, a tavern famous for its wandering Orc Ghosts. Targus was there having dinner along with his Fiancée Talus, Man-at-arms Calcaneus, and friend, Sir Cumference, I mean, Radius. Aldus was also in attendance. After some banter and learning that Targus is… kind of a dick… Radius was run through by an assassin's blade. Our heroes then notice 4 black robed figures with swords raised. About to killinate them.

October 18, 2017
Halia gave our adventurers more info on the hit that was placed on Targus duFeliway. The hit is being facilitated by a Mob Boss called Johmaar Grasp. He works out of a “Temple of Tymora” (read: casino) in Neverwinter called The Shimmering Star. The Owl also asked E.E. to find her son, Running Water, while they are in Neverwinter. She hasn’t seen him in “a long time.”  Halia also pulled Regis aside and taught him how to read The Written Whisper, a variant of the Thieve’s Cant that can be written and is used frequently to place assassination contracts. She may have told Regis something else… before walking away Halia asked E.E. to give R.W. a message, “Thank you, but we’re not even.”  After which she removed her mask to show us that since we saw her 10 years ago her face has been severely burned and she was also blinded with one of her eyes actually missing most of its… um… self.

Next our heroes left for Neverwinter. At camp, Regis decided to play Bishop to show off but cut himself a bit. (dc 13, acrobatics). He failed and then practiced that night so now if he ever does it again, the DC will be 12.

Our heroes ran into a Rabid Unicorn which Sunny immediately decided to ride. Aridex used Lesser Restoration to cure it’s Rabies and now the Unicorn owes him a favor. If he wants to summon the Unicorn he need only pray.

Upon arriving in Neverwinter, Regis slipped through an old hole in the wall he knew about from years before and the others went through the main gate. Tinnitus then stabled the horses. Regis went to The Shimmering Star and played some Giants & Halflings. He was doing well until the dealer switched out and a tall Elf with glowing red eyes rolled extremely well. Regis left the table and a waitress asked for help. After a few minutes of wandering around Regis went for the door to leave… and couldn’t find it...

September 27, 2017
Our heroes battled Gorald The Glass and a demoniclly possessed Sildar. Midway through the fight Gorald jumped into the Forge of Spells and floated out. He claimed he was now clairvoyent and could see everyone's deaths. Then he saw his own, which was to accur in 3, 2, 1. The Giant Phase Spider that had been stalking our heroes crawled out of the Forge and impaled Gorald ending him. This came as a shock to Sunny who realized she has been carrying around Gorald's Skull since their encounter at The Happy Jackel. Ew.

When Sildar was finally subdued he told Aridex everything he learned while submerged in the Forge. 10,000 years ago a piece of Heaven fell from the sky and tore a hole in the mountain and the very fabric of the world into a demonic realm. The forge was acting as a gate but Gorald's experiments broke this protection. Sildar said that he was close to closing the rift for good before he was possessed by the Beholder. He said that if he could have another chance he's sure he could close it. Aridex allowed Sildar to jump back into the rift. And as it closed Sildar told him, "I'll see you again, in this life or the next."

As the cave they were in started collapsing they noticed 7 Red Beams of Light escape the Rift just before it closed. Once outside they saw the beams all scatter in different directions.

"Where's daddy?" Finwé asked Aridex.

September 20, 2017
Our heroes got in some fights. But first they were slowed down by a Wall of Force thrown up by our buddy Gorry Glass. They saw Sildar being held aloft over a crater in the floor with White/Purple mist floating in it. They moved on to find a treasure room. Regis got an amulet of Power Transference allowing him to store a critical hit for use later. Then they got attacked by some mimics (900xp). Next they cleared a cave in to find some dopplegangers who were impersonating Finwé and Sildar (1400xp). After those were dispatched they decided they wanted more blood and fought some fat spider monsters (900xp). Then they found the heat metal corridor and regis was able to find the disable switch on the other side (100xp for Regis). When trying to sneak into the center chamber Regis set off a trap alerting Glass Face to their presence again. Force Field. Next they found the real Finwé hiding in what looked like some sort of living chamber. Also found in that room was a Scroll of Animate Dead, a Scroll of Greater Restoration and a letter from someone representing “His Majesty.”  They were able to find a secret entrance back to the front of the dungeon but came back in to try and get into the center chamber. This is when Aridex noticed that he could not see Sildar…

September 5, 2017
Ronai was approached by a Dragonborn Paladin named Dash’er Beestinger. Dash told Ronai that he was sent by Halia Thronton to find Medusa eyes and needs help. The two went to a nearby Blacksmiths to find it in the process of being robbed by bandits. They were able to rescue the Smithy’s apprentice, Boor, and recover a single Medusa Eye in the process. They also found a note from a Confessor Jourath who was offering large sums of money for Medusa Eyes and other assorted body parts.

Upon returning to Phandalin and (for some odd reason) trying to sell Boor to Anathasui, Phandalin’s Smithy, they found Halia alone in The Stonehill Inn, drunk. She was musing about loosing her father, Corrigan, to a coven of Vampires. And mentioned that he has a new name now, Strahd.

Halia used the new batch of Medusa’s Gaze cure to free her brother, Cade aka Mr. Black. Then she left before he woke up. When he finally did wake up he pledged himself to help Ronai and Dash free the other two. Their only lead, an as of yet unopened tavern in Neverwinter called “The Grave Tree.”  The trio traveled there and found a Red Dragonborn who professed to be Confessor Jourath, a representative of The King with Three Crowns.

Whilst reciting the old poem Dash cut off Confessor Jourath saying he demanded two medusa eyes because Jourath, “Already took my wife and child from me."

Will Confessor Jourath be totally cool with being threatened like that? Can our heroes free Benji and Leaf from stone? Did Megan and Adamo really just read this whole thing when I explicitly told them not to? Jesus, go back to your honeymoon!

August 23, 2017
Last week our heroes fought two large creatures made mostly of mouths. Shit got weird. And, exauseted from that fight, they decided to avoid any further... lol jk... they aggroed a whole room of 20 Zombie miners and their Wight foreman. GG guys.

What other horrors await them in Wave Echo Cave. Why is it even called Wave Echo Cave? Is that creepy spider coming back? Spoiler alert: yup.

August 16, 2017
Y'all finally got to Wave Echo Cave. Good job. Only took you 10 years.

You got in one little fight and Aridex got scared and said, "I'm going back to Phandalin and finding a cure for Old."

On they way they discovered they were being Stalked by something they couldn't see. Cleaverly named an Cleverly Stalker. They dispatched of it fairly easily because the Dungeon Master really screwed up the mechanics of the fight.

When Aridex, Regis, and Ronai got back, they went to the Townmaster's Hall only to discover that Tingsbarrow... or the Gnome they thought was Tingsbarrow, was actually a Doppleganer and was killed while trying to escape Court of Swords custody. They were pointed towards the town's shrone of Tymora where a Cleric by the name of Nisab frequents. Nisab said she could perform Greater Restoration but didn't have the diamond dust needed. She pointed them to Krevla's.

Krevla was happy to see our heroes. She offered them some Diamond Earings for 100GP. Aridex promised to pay her upon their return. After some huge diliberations over wheather to find different diamonds, because these ones maaaaaay have been cursed, Aridex decided to have the Smithy crush them.

Nisab used the diamond dust to perform greater restoration but it left Aridex with a new personality quirk. He is immediately distrustful of authority figures. Especially royalty of any kind.

Then the prank war began. Aridex put Regis on the roof while he was sleeping.

Aridex went to sleep and had a dream about Sildar being hoisted above a pit with purple/white light coming out of it. He was then bled and a small many eye'd creature came out of the hole.

Meanwhile Sunny and Tinnitus cuddled and heard a TON of voices coming from the Temple enterence to WEC.

What new horrors will our heroes find in Wave Echo Cave? Will they find Sildar in time to save him from whatever’s going on in there? What exactly is Gorald’s Business Plan? This can’t be good for the BSMC’s stock price.

August 2, 2017
With the Prince of Coins dead Ysmeer suggests to Helry that they get their Priest of Cups to attempt a resurrection. Sunny is questioned by Helry and a court of swords guard interviews Ronai. Regis talks to a member of the Court of Swords. He says nothing. Ronai, in the guise of the court of swords guard, takes Tinnitus aside and tells him that he is Iarno Albrek, Glasstaff. Dun dun dun. He says that he is here to fulfill a promise he made to Halia Thornton to free her Brother and the other Whispers.

The Priest of Cups enters and tries to start the ritual to resurrect Goldbearer. Aridex convinces him that they should do it on holy ground. The Priest agrees and they move upstairs to the chapel. The ritual fails and Ysmeer is upset. He leaves. Krevla then tells E.E. about the man who came to her shop and bought all of the Celestial Artifacts he could find. Then returned 2 days later asking if she knew any Celestials. The man who came to see her… had glass shards in his face.

July 5, 2017
Our heroes, newly awoken from their stoney slumber where brought over to a massive painting hanging in Craigmaw Castle. It was of a battle faught long ago between the wood elves and the fire giants. At the head of the Wood Elf army was Belandon Tressendar, Aridex in a past life. Sildar explained that he was ordered by their king to set up a town near Wave Echo Cave and explore a font of magic that lived there. Tressendar manor was built and then Belandon was called off to war from which he did not return. Hundreds of years later, Aridex seems to be in a unique posission to complete his past life's goal.

The group travelled back to Phandalin where they found much had changed. Sildar says he left 7 years ago and married Dawn Ah. They have a son together, Finwé. Sildar mentioned that last he knew a Tiefling named, Ysmeer was townmaster. Sildar left our adventurers to meet his wife at the Aldereaf farm.

E.E. went to check out the Battle of Phandalin memorial. They found they each had a statued representation but none had a recognizable face. Carp Alderleaf was here paying respects to his mother, lost in the battle.

They travelled to the Phandalin Town hall where they met a super enthsiastic secretary who informed them that the Townmaster was out. But J/K he wasn't. He was yelling at poor Kamal the Gnome adventurer. Kamal told the group that her friend Tundrock Blooddrum, Dwarf Warlock went missing. He had come to Phandalin to study the dried up Forge of Spells. She informed the adventurers that if needed she'd be at the Stonehill Inn... or out on a super awesome adventure.

Upon entering Townmaster Burjer Tingsbarrow's office he J. Jonah Jameson'd all over them and asked them to leave. He wasn't too happy to give out info. Rude little guy. Awesome chair though.

E.E. then travelled to the Well. They found it closed off but broke it open and Aridex and Regis flew down to check out the sich. The found a decayed woman clutching a note: "My dearest Samwell..." Was all they could make out. Also Regis mushed up the face and it was gross and he totally puked.

Next stop was the Stonehill Inn. They learned that poor Toblin died a few years ago and Pip was now helping run the Inn with his mother Trillena. Also Trillena was town master for a year but lost reelection to Ysmeer.

They also bothered a lot of Stonehill patrons. One in particular of interest was a man who seemed to know of the du Falloway family. He expressed his condolences to Tinnitus on the death of his Grandfather.

And finally we saw the Prince of Coins overlooking the town of Phandalin looking at it, unimpressed. His Golden Mask perpetually melting.

June 21, 2017
Our heroes fought and killed the Medusa. Then they searched the secret passage to find four more dead medusa’s. All with their eyes removed. Running Water then showed himself, covered in Ochre Jelly. There was some talk of creating a batch of “the serum” but it needed "Sacred Water.”  Cade said that he could create some and started the ritual when there was a loud commotion.  Everyone went toward the noise.  Going through the gargoyle room again it asked for another secret.  It looked at Glass Eye.  Running Water then noticed that he thought he recognized Glass Eye’s voice…

The crew ended up at the start of the cave where 20ish Kobold Dragonshield’s entered the cave surrounding our heroes. A large soldier in gold armor brandishing a large gilded spear entered the cave and commanded that our heroes be seized.

CUT TO:

Sir Tinnitus, Sunset Over The Mountain, Regis, and Aridex are awoken from their stone forms. They see their old friend Sildar Hallwinter now 10 years older than when they last saw him. A small elven looking boy is hiding behind him. “Father, are these really the Heroes of Phandalin?”

June 13th, 2017
After much deliberation and concern over the Medusa’s well being, our heroes decided to travel back to the Mirror room, take a short rest and then open the Mirror Door. The Elf in the mirror thanked them for exacting vengeance upon the Heterochromia Iridium Kobold and then told them to take his shield and sword. The shield being of particular excitement because of its mirrored front.

Next our heroes traveled to the north corridor where the mirror theme continued, the walls covered in them. They reached a smooth door with the words: “Say the password” written in red. Upon the realization that they didn’t have the correct password they decided the search the passage south of the alchemist’s lab.

They met up with everyone’s favorite Bird Sorcerer.  Or Sorcerer Bird. Bird who is also a Sorce- you get it. It was Running Water. At the mention of The Court of Whispers, RW knew they were not enemies. He gave them the password that he overheard but then mysteriously disappeared once they gave him the formula for “The Serum.”  He said it was too important and needed to make it out of the cave.

Once our heroes got past the door to the north they noticed the mirrors on the other side of the hall were all shattered and there were many stone Kobolds inside. They were met by two laser shooting snake statues facing each other that totally weren’t stolen from Never Ending Story. Acting on faith alone Leaf decided to just walk past them with her eyes closed. Bingo.

A fight started when Mr. Purple yelled out, “We mean you no harm.”  Benji looked at the Medusa through a mirror and was rewarded with his legs hardening and turning to stone. Mr. Purple then cast shatter on a group of Kobolds killing most of them and breaking a statue, revealing a hidden cave...

June 7th, 2017
The Reservoir Whispers Gang found the Alchemist dead on the stairs. They took a journal page from him and then went through a maze coming out in a room with Secret Gargoyle. They each revealed a secret and moved on to the next room where The Black Spider was found to be frozen in stone. Mr. Purple revealed himself to be a recipient of a cursed weapon given to him by the Black Spider. THen they faught some Kobolds. One with 2 different colored eyes.

May 30, 2017 and June 1st, 2017
Our heroes interrogated the Orc and found that Zaragga was in the castle. Upon entering they fought some more orcs and some skeletons. Then barreled into Zaragga the White’s room. He was none too pleased. So after a short battle he threw a pendant at them that froze them in stone.

10 years later…

Our new heroes, Mr. Purple, Ms. Green, Mr. Black, and Mr. Blue were tasked with finding an alchemist who was kidnapped by some Kobolds, bringing back anything of alchemical interest, and killing the kobold’s master. They started by entering the cave and finding an Orc statue. Ms. Green decapitated it and then Mr. Purple mended it back together. They then went on to fight a room full of Kobolds. A Kobold Sorcerer got away. They found a statue of a Noble Dragonborn that Mr. Blue identified as part of House Blit’zen. Next they found a room with stairs leading down, a doorway, and a Vampire statue that alarmed Mr. Black though he didn’t seem to recognize the image dipicted. They entered the doorway to find the escaped Kobold Sorcerer. They quickly dispatched him and examined the room to find a mirror that showed whomever looked upon it the image of themselves holding the head of a Kobold with two different color eyes. Then it was rest time.

May 17, 2017

 * The Happy Jackal
 * Seems to exist outside time/space
 * Can be seemingly everywhere
 * You enter and exit in the same place, though that place is different for everyone
 * You leave fully healed
 * Violence cannot happen inside.  You get teleported out.
 * 3 Orcs.
 * One had a cape belonging to Halia.
 * One had an amulet of Tymora
 * One had a bag of 500 gold that you were able to intimidate him into dropping.
 * The Littlefeet
 * Darla Littlefoot and her Husband Benji are traveling from Boulder's Gate to Neverwinter to open a new shop because the 'conomy (sic) isn't doing well, according to D'nar, their Dragonborn son.  (He's adopted).
 * Ysmeer, Teifling
 * Traveling to Phandalin to rebuild it.
 * Kinda doesn't like you cause you threatened him with a Green Dragon.
 * Spider-Man
 * Just wanted a drink
 * Spit out a Skull of Divination for Sunny
 * The Cook
 * Uthal Rootsmasher Gathakanthi
 * No tongue.
 * Was friends with Jack "before"
 * The Consciousness
 * A floating Orb entity that exists in all times and dimensions and really just wants to take your order.
 * Has met Aridex before when he was "Belandon."  They talked about Fire Giants
 * Tells Aridex that they'll meet again but "not for many years."
 * Says that Orcs are usually fearful and superstitious and that can be used against them.
 * Happy Jack
 * Bound to The Happy Jackal by the Goddess of Peace, Eldath.
 * Can speak Thieve's Cant
 * Probably wasn't a good dude "before"
 * Likes being the proprietor of the Happy Jackal
 * Says "if you're out there on the road, tired from battle, lost in the wilderness, or in need of escapement I reckon she'll (Eldath) answer your prayers (summon the Happy Jackal).
 * Dawn Ah
 * Rushed in at one point
 * Confused because she said she had just seen our Heroes at "the castle"
 * Has a badass new eye-patch.
 * Was rushed out of the HJ because she was an "anomaly."
 * The Consciousness says she is from "one of many futures."
 * Running Water
 * Can't go in the Happy Jackal
 * Seems to have committed some sort of violence in the Happy Jackal.
 * Made a blood spitting motion and pointed to his tongue.
 * Aridex and Regis
 * Think that maybe RW kills one of them in the future.

May 10, 2017
Tinnitus had a nice conversation with Dhulgrick Onyxfall, the Smithy. He asked about arrows but the smithy was trashed during the invasion. When asked if he knew any other smithy’s in the area he mentioned he had a friend in Neverwinter, Arimin Diirwyld. His shop is in the merchant district.

Regis wanted to check in with Barthan who’s shop was also trashed. They asked if Urgoth had any offspring. Barthan confirmed that he had a daughter that was around 9 months old. Whereabouts unknown. But no one saw a baby Orc in Phandalin and Thundertree only had 3 Orcs in it. One Eye of Gruumsh, that was working against the Thundertree Orcs, and 2 guards of the castle Venomfang was inhabiting. No babies there.

When the team finally headed off in search of Craigmaw they came upon a hole in the ground filled with unnatural water. When Regis got to close to it a Skeleton attacked him. Then the Water animated and attacked as well. Shit was weird. Water Weird. After the battle, in which Aridex nearly drown, the team camped out for the night in the hole the Water Weird left behind.

When they awoke. They found there was now a Tavern on the side of the road. Or rather… partially on the side. It was also partially on the road. Askew, as if someone dropped it there. A sign read: “The Happy Jackal. ALL are welcome.”  Sunny decided to enter the mysterious tavern first. Running Water let the group know that he would be staying outside.

Upon entering the Happy Jackal our heroes were welcomed by a Gnoll dressed in a suit and sunglasses. Shit’s about to get super weird.

May 4-9, 2017
Slack RP:

Sildar to Aridex: You and I have met in all of our lives so far. Clearly the gods have a sense of humor because in our previous lives you helped me adjust to being Aasimar. So it is fitting that in this life I should advise you. My advice to you would be… first and foremost do not be afraid to ask the gods for guidance. And have faith that their word is true. Know that I am here for you, my friend. My priority right now is restoring Phandalin… an endeavor that I feel you will understand… soon. But if you need my council please seek it. While Aridex and Sildar were talking, Sir Tinnitus gave Gorald, the former Farmhand, a quest. Track down the three Bugbears last know to be in the woods south of Tressendar Manor. Gorald seemed eger. Tinnitus gave him the Glasstaff to aid him in the endeavor. Regis quipped, "...and that's the last time we saw Gorald."

Regis then went to try and find Halia. He found her house empty and the Miner's Exchange pillaged. But he was able to find half of a parchment on which he made out the words: “Owl. Cave. Beholder. Halia. Forge.“

Then, on the latest episode of House Hunters: Phandalin,  Sildar gave Aridex advice on buying some property in Phandalin. Told him that there was no one he'd "rather see on that hill than you." But that he should talk to the new Townmaster when he or she is elected.

Then Sunny offered to publicly endorse Trilena for Townmaster. And made things weird with a crit fail on insight. But she recovered well.

May 3, 2017
Sunny had a Goblin in her room. The team decided to keep it alive. Dawn Ah murdered it out of rage. She and Aridex had words.

Gorald the farmhand came to Tinnitus asking him to teach him how to be brave. Tinnitus said he would give him a quest later.

Regis had a visitor as well. Halia took her mask back and said that if he would make a good Whisper... some day. She said if he was ever in Neverwinter to go to a Fletcher named "Arimin Diirwyld. Tell him you need 3 arrows with golden tips. Tell him they're for the Prince."

Aidex had a dream in which he was a Wood Elf clad in armor fighting an army of Fire Giants. Another Elf with him told him he was "a joker."

When the crew woke up and came downstairs Aridex and Tinnitus had a nice little chat about finding Zaragga the White.

There was a town meeting. Sildar said the town needed Security, Reconstruction, and leadership and he called for elections to be held. The group gave their loot back to the town to help rebuild and Trilena Stonehill expressed interest in running for Townmaster.

Tinnitus discovered that Meatball was missing and then Aridex had a good conversation with Terramorphus about what happened to him. It was decided that Droop took him. Tinnitus also gave Regis, Tristin's medallion of Leira. Then Regis replied, "I'm not crying, you're crying.  Shut up."

Finally Sildar revealed to Aridex, in a sick callback to the dream that the DM came up with right on the spot, that he was the other Elf in his dream. Smash cut to black. Executive producer Kyp Pilalas.

April 28th, 2017
After about 2 hours (this is not an overstatement) of deliberation, a plan was decided on. Sunny would challenge Urgoth to a dual while Regis, invisible with the help of Running Water, would sneak up and try to free Sildar. Sir Tinnitus would hold an action in case Sunny got in trouble, same with Aridex.

Once Sunny reached single digits, Sir Tinnitus let an arrow loose. Urgoth took this personally. And an epic battle was waged. Aridex sacred flamed a barrel thinking it had explosives like last session only to find that it was just booze. What a cruel and hilarious joke on the part of the DM. Regis unlocked the shackle around Sildar's neck and gave him a health potion. He charged at Urgoth and unleashed his heavenly powers revealing himself to be an Aasimar.

Halia Thornton showed up with the members of The Well. They fought valiantly. Dawn Ah was critically hurt and Sister Geralea and Qelline Alderleaf both lost their lives. Which makes sense I guess. Neither of them were really fighters. Make sure to pour one out for them at the Stonehill. At one point Sunny died. But she was wearing a Phoenix Feather given to her by Running Water so she came back with Firey Red fur.

Once the Good Guys started rolling better and Urgoth was put down the other Orcs fled and Phandalin was free.

April 26th, 2017
Our Heroes investigated Tressindar Manor to find it... completely empty. On their way to check out Edermath Farm they encountered a figure in a white cloak. They chased it to the edge of the farm where it stopped and revealed itself to be an Albino Orc Spellcaster. Initiatives were rolled and upon being attacked the Orc vanished in a shroud of mist.

An epic battle took place. Fireballs were fired, barrels exploded and Regis rolled a crit on a death save bringing him back to life with one hit point to finish the fight. But MVP goes to Sir Tinnitus who Robin Hooded a fuse with his bow right before it was to explode the farmhouse.

When the encounter was finished there were a lot of dead Orcs and Goblins. And Qelline Alderleaf had been saved. Everyone rolled stealth and was able to sneak back to the Well. Except Aridex. R.W. had to use invisibility on him cause he was too shaky from being dead momentarily to be stealthy.

April 12, 2017
Dawn Ah told everyone the story of what happened. She asked "Toblen" about his son, that he hadn't mentioned before, and there was a moment of hesitation in his eyes. Hesitation that she recognized. Dawn mentioned that she had a history with "that kind of creature." But when asked about it she told Cat Lady to mind her own business. Maybe Dawn will warm up to our adventurers once the town is freed. Dawn mentioned that the Doppelganger had said, "You are all caught in his web and you don't even know it."

Running Water mentioned that Droop left the Well. The goblin had mentioned "revenge." The Doppelganger's daggers were given to Aridex and R.W. And finally there was a significant rumbling and a faint boom felt by everyone in the well. Sunny stealed up to the top of the well to find that the Townmaster's Hall was engulfed in flames.

Regis lead the charge over to find a burned and battered Halia Thornton fighting two Orcs. Our Heroes fought the orcs off but not before Halia took a great ax hit to the torso. Regis finished off the Orc and then clutched Halia in his arms. She removed her Court of Whispers Mask and gave it to him, saying that he would "need it to contact the Owl." She also gave him her Rope Dart. But whatever the DM is totally going to have it break the first time he uses it.

Sunny then picked up Halia and brought her back to the Well. There, Running Water was eyeing the Mask Regis had. When asked if he recognized it R.W. said he didn't. But then Regis asked if he recognized the Mirror Mask and R.W. held his hand out and the mask flew to him instantly. He put it on and 3/4 of Expeditious Expeditions reacted. They decided to forego a short rest and instead head off and try to catch Urgoth who Halia saw go off to the East. They invited their friend, Court of Wands member, Running Water, to join them.

April 5, 2017
Our heroes deliberated many options for busting into the Stonehill Inn to take the Orcs by surprise. But they decided since they had a 33.33 (repeating of course) chance of success, to go with the Leeroy option. Sunny climbed up the side of the building and sneaked into a room to get the drop on the common room filled with drunk orcs. But Regis and Aridex decided to bust through windows first. Regis, less successfully than Aridex. It took him a couple tries to get through. After a few rounds of melee were exchanged, Regis noticed that the Orcs were looking at a Mirror Mask at a table. Regis took it and proceeded to continue fighting.

Once the battle was over, Trilena Stonehill said that her husband and son were trapped in the cellar with The Crestfalls. TFW you realize the Toblen Stonehill you met was a Doppelganger.

After ensuring that the Toblen in the cellar was the real one you rushed back to the Well to find Gorald on the floor bleeding, Running Water standing tall in an offencive stance, Sister Garaelea holding the Glasstaff in a defensive stance, and Dawn Ah pulling an arrow out of the head of a Doppelganger.

"Thanks for leaving us in a death trap, you were no help. But at least we had the bird."

Mar. 29, 2017
Our adventuring friends started by talking to the occupants of The Well. The Farm Hand, Gorald, who was quite shell shocked by the destruction of the Edermath Orchard, told the adventurers that Daran had been beaten and dragged off by the Orcs. He also confirmed that Droop is still alive... and though he was around here somewhere. Dawn Ah needed arrows and Tinnitus graciously gave her some. She also informed everyone that Sildar had been chained up in the town green and is being forced to fight Orcs bare handed. She vowed to free him.

Upon leaving The Well our adventurers went about 50 feet and got into a fight with a patrol. During that fight Sunny was downed briefly and Running Water got to stab an Orc! After the fight our heroes set up an elaborate stunt having Running Water make the battle cry of an Orc and then run away. A single drunk Orc came out to investigate. Regis performed an amazing slide and stab routine that stealthily took out the Orc.

Halia Thornton, on a rooftop nearby, locked eyes with Regis. The two shared a moment that lasted an eternity. She gave him a word of encouragement and then vanished on her way to the Townmaster's Hall to attempt to deal with Urgoth.

Mar. 22, 2017
While following the Orcs trail, our heroes encountered a path of destruction created by the marauders. They stumbled upon a group of dead travelers and a trail of blood leading off into the woods. After a short discussion of how to honor the dead lying in the road (TIL there are 4 types of burials) they followed the blood trail to a Kenku Merchant by the name of Running Water. They invited him to join them on their revenge tour.

Upon arriving at Phandalin they noted that it had been sacked by Orcs, fires burning and green skinned brutes walking around freely. The Lords' Alliance Wagon Tinnitus had seen days earlier was toppled and burned. And a man was dead on the ground. Regis rolled him over and discovered that he was a member of the Court of Swords. They opted not to take his mask, as being caught impersonating a member of one of the Courts carries a sentence of death.

They snuck into Phandalin under cover of dusk. Going over a hill and ambushing some Orcs. At the tail end of battle, a figure in crimson robes Rope Darted an Orc and repelled down a tree. She then tripped and garroted the other Orc in what was quite a bad ass maneuver if I do say so myself. She then ushered everyone over to a well which they went down no questions asked. Cause I mean, if a woman as Bad Ass as Halia Thornton tells you to get in a well, you just get in the goddamn well.

Within the Well was a secret room where Halia was hiding with some companions. Dawn Ah, Sildar's Elven assistant, The Farm Hand from the Edermath Orchard, An elf that Tinnitus recognizes but has never spoken to, and Toblin Stonehill.

Halia says that the Orc's leader is Urgoth son of Sorigoth and that they seem to be asking a lot of questions. One word in particular they keep hearing spoken by the Orcs but no one speaks Orcish. Halia says they need to kill Urgoth's Lieutenants before killing Urgoth. Otherwise a lieutenant will just take his place and lead all the grunts. But if all the leaders are killed, the grunts will scatter without leadership. She also mentioned that the Lords' Alliance was escorting Iarno Albrek back to Neverwinter as the Orcs were attacking. Our Adventurers informed her that he is, apparently, lose again.

Mar. 1, 2017
Sir Tinnitus, Sole Survivor of Expeditious Expeditions, agreed to leave Venomfang's lair. But he vowed that "this isn't over." The dragon replied, "I'm sure we'll meet again." Venomfang then said he would let Tinnitus take an item from each of his friends to remember them by. He took Tristin's Medallion of Leira, Peter's Glass Staff of Defence and Safona's... tongs. So he can bbq or something. He was then ushered out by Rancis.

At the bottom of the hill Tinnitus eventually wrangled Meatball, after taking a kick. Maybe take off your gauntlets before petting an animal next time.

After a short rest in Reidoth(RIP)'s hut, Tinnitus, Meatball and [HORSE] took off on the road to Neverwinter. After a day's journey, he stopped to rest and heard the screams of small folk. He noticed a wagon filled with Orcs and treasure heading south when he approached the scene. Upon investigation, he discovered a traveling troupe of halfling and gnomish mummers being attacked by Orcs. There was a single human making a stand against the marauders. He was badly wounded already and in need of aid. Tinnitus fired an arrow at one of the Orcs injuring and confusing it. When Tinnitus advanced he noticed a cage on the Orc's wagon containing a large cat-woman who tried to bust out, only to topple the cage over on its side. Then a Half-Elf Rogue sprang out of from under the cart and attacked one of the Orcs.

Aridex, the lone human of the smallfolk mummer troupe, was felled by an orc. He the felt a warm sensation and his eyes began to glow. He had visions of past lives of heroic deeds and then sprang up at the ready, newly invigorated and celestially healed. At this time a more powerful Orc exited the Orc wagon and Sunny, the Cat-Lady, busted free of her cage.

A mighty battle ensued in which everyone discovered that Rogues are kind of OP and when it was over Regis, the Rogue, threatened Tinnitus and demanded an explanation as to where he got the medallion around his neck. Tinnitus explained that he traveled with Tristin, who was killed by a dragon. Regis made a blood oath to avenge his former mentor. It was quite touching, but I mean, do you really have to cut your whole hand? Aridex healed it with Cleric magic because he's nice. Sunny then introduced herself and said she wanted revenge on the Orcs too. They all high fived and froze mid air.

Title: "Expeditious Expeditions: The New Class"

Roll credits.

Feb. 22, 2017
So... that happened. Peter decided to scout out the tower while the Dragon was away. He turned into a spider and climbed into a window. Finding the dragon gone, he decided to check out the treasure chest hidden in a corner. A vine trap sprang and held him in place just as the Dragon came home to roost.

Meanwhile, Tristin, Safona, and Sir Tinnitus woke up and realized that Peter hadn't returned. So they asked for Reidoth's assistance and headed to the tower. At the door, they were met by 2 Orcs who asked for a bribe. Sir Tinnitus paid them and they were all allowed an audience with the dragon.

Venomfang told them he was displeased that they tried to steal his treasure and asked what they brought in tribute. Tristin said he brought a cultist. Rancis said that his tribute was the adventurers. Venomfang said he'd let the adventures go but only one Druid could leave. They had to murder Reidoth. Peter objected but eventually gave in. Tristin decided to deliver the killing blow but Sir Tinnitus' code of honor would not allow that to happen and he blocked the blow. At which point Safona attacked the dragon.

Again: "at which point... Safona. Attacked. The. Dragon."

Things went downhill very quickly from here. Sir Tinnitus took 3 massive melee attacks from the dragon and then threw is rapier at the vines holding Peter in an attempt to release him... and missed. Then Tristin healed Peter who was close to death from some pot shots Venomfang had taken to up the stakes a little. Venomfang, realizing there was a healer in the group, turned his focus on the Cleric.

Peter, now freed by a sacred flame blast, walked up to Reidoth and read him Ezekiel 25:17. But it was too late. The dragon had been attacked, unprovoked. He was angry. He wanted Safona. So when she grouped up by the door with Tristin and Peter the dragon took a deep breath and dropped 12d6 poison damage on them. Tristin took 49 points, to the face, and died instantly. Safona and Peter dropped to 0 hit points and went down. Venomfang turned to Sir Tinnitus and said he could leave and live or stay and die.

Smash cut to black.

"...to be continued."

Feb. 15, 2017
Our Troupe of Heroes started by putting poor Tone out of his misery. Peter looked deep into his eyes and knew he had had enough (it was a good roll). Then the ventured northward.

They discovered a ruined building with a makeshift alter in it that had bones in a triangle shape and an eye in the center. They followed the path north and found it barricaded. After finding some tracks going around it through some trees they came to the town square with a giant Black Tree with stone arms coming out of it. After some mediocre stealth rolls they walked around the barracks and found all kinds of blood and dead Orcs inside. At this point Sir Tinnitus vomited on the ground and then Tristin proceeded to crawl through it.

Peterbear, who is 100% not into weird sex stuff, busted in the door and awoke an Eye of Gruumsh who asked if it served the dragon, before realizing that it was in fact, just a bear. Safona then busted in and Ray of Frosted The Eye of Gruumsh. He then ran outside to join some Twig Blights and an aspect of the Black Tree that drank blood. Like ya do. After a well fought battle that included a clutch butt handoff of a Scroll of Fireball, the Black Tree was burned to the ground and the "aggressive vegetation" problem dealt with.

Looting the body of the Eye of Gruumsh turned up the Abernathy Emerald Necklace. But it seems to have some sort of enchantment on it. Whomever held it could communicate with The Black Spider. They exchanged a few words and then, upon realizing whom he was speaking to, the connection ceased.

Finally they headed back to Reidoth's for a long rest. When informed that the Twig Blights had been dealt with Peter was made an official member of the Emerald Enclave and given the title, Springwarden. He has a small twig broach as an insignia.

Around midnight our adventurer's rest was interrupted as they heard the massive flapping of wings. Peter rushed outside to get his first brief glimpse of the Green Dragon that has taken residence in the broken tower. It flies north over the treetops of Neverwinter Forrest made silver by the moonlight as we fade to black. Roll credits. Executive Producer: Kyp Pilalas.

Feb. 8, 2017
After a short rest in Reidoth's temporary dwelling, our intrepid adventurers decided to head to the East side of Thundertree. Tristin, as is his way, barreled ahead without checking his surroundings and walked straight into some spider webs. After a short fight in which Safona nearly noped out, they found the remains of an adventurer wrapped in webs. He was a male elf with studded leather armor and a shortsword. He also had some money on him which was all they really cared about.

Next they found the Abernathy Herbalism shop which is where Mirna said her family's necklace would be. They found a case with the Abernathy Family Crest but there was no necklace inside of it. Apparently the Orcs living in town for the past 30 years found it. Which isn't really an unreasonable thought. I mean, I don't know what Mirna was thinking. "Maybe Orcs don't like valuable Jewelry?" Ok, Mirna.

The smithy called to our adventurers next and they opened the door to find a battle with some Orc Zombies. Oh, and Safona took some tongs because she's a clepto I guess.

Finally they traveled to a rather intact looking building where they made the most abysmal stealth rolls I've ver witnessed. And then Tristin, the guy with the lowest abysmal stealth roll, decided to be the one to stick his head in the window. He came face to face with a Dragon Cultist. After showing absolutely no signs of aggression towards the Party except for calling Peter, who is a literal animal at the moment, a pet, which... I mean... let's just take a second and talk about this from the Cultists point of view. They're sitting around chilling. Talking dragon stuff. Saying how lucky their friend, lying in the corner, dying in agony is. And all of a sudden some dude is in their window. They're like, whoa, wtf? "Hi?" And he's all like "oh, hey what're you guys up to?" Then an effing BEAR busts in the back door. But the Cultists keep their cool. They see that Window Dude is talking to the Bear and trying to reason with it so they assume, "ohh, this animal-that-we-have-no-reason-to-believe-is-a-human must be his pet." And at that inference, the bear kills them all.

Except for Rancis. He surrendered and agreed to help the party talk to the Dragon. He also explained to the party that he saw some Orcs north of here in the Town Square, "by the Black Tree." Then Tristin crit on a deception roll making the cultist believe that if he left the building, he'd die.

Feb. 1, 2017
The Party entered Thundertree and found a dead Orc on the ground at the entrance. It had Chlorene Gas

vapors coming off of it. Safona approached it to check for Magic and was poisoned by the gas. After proceeding into town the party was attacked by Twig Blights. They dispatched the aggressive vegetation with little effort, though Safona did get 4 in 1 blow with Shatter.

The party met with Reidoth the Druid and much was discussed. He informed the party that these Twig Blights are not usually so aggresive and that something magical must be agitating them. He mentioned there in addition to the Twig Blights there are Spiders and Zombies lurking in town. He shed some light on the Mirror Masked Man the party saw in the carriage headed towards Phandalin. Said that men in Mirror Masks are usually representatives of The Court of Wands. Finally Reidoth explained that the Dragon currently residing in Thundertree is a Young Green Dragon. Safona explained to everyone that Green Dragons like treasure, especially emeralds. They like high up, cave-like lairs and their power is judges by other dragons on how many minions they have. Also, they are straight up evil.

Reidoth emphasized that he believes they would be no match for the Green Dragon, but if they somehow were able to drive it off The Emerald Enclave would be very grateful. Reidoth then offered Peter membership in the Emerald Enclave if he and his friends could successfully drive off the magical force aggravating the Twig Blights.

Jan. 25, 2017
Peter had a strange dream: "You find yourself in a dry, dead forrest.  Broken twigs, fallen trees and thorns, cut your legs and feet as you make your way through the dense thicket.  The deeper in you get the darker it becomes... until it is pitch black.  Something acrid fills your nostrils and you almost wretch from the horrible smell.  Minutes pass.  Or is it hours?  Or days?  You can’t be sure.  A bright green light momentarily blinds you.  Your eyes adjust in time to see a giant black snake slither down a dead tree.  It stares you in the eye for a brief moment.  The creature reaches the ground and advances in your direction.  You turn to move but thorny vines wrap around your wrists and ankles.  The more you struggle the tighter the dead vegetation’s grasp becomes.  The snake is closer now and you try to communicate with it.  You open your mouth but nothing comes out.  You try to speak, to scream.  But you find you can’t. In fact, you discover you’re having trouble breathing. The snake advances faster now and you finally break vines holding you in place but right as you do the snake breaths a torrent of green gas from its mouth! You’re enveloped in an emerald cloud of poison. The deep burn permeates your lungs and the pain becomes all you can think about. It is all encompassing and excruciating. You look into the sky and see the moon dim... and then extinguish. She has given up on you. You are no longer her concern. You are alone. Darkness again. Nothing. Your eyes open and you are in your bed drenched in sweat. Viciously gasping for breath. The sweet taste of fresh air fills your lungs. It’s morning. And you are safe. For now…"He awoke to find his friends decending the stairs at the Stonehill Inn. They noticed a sword that wasn't there before.  Toblin Stonehill explained that it was a gift from Daran Edermath who had defeated an Orc in single combat a year before saving the town from an invation.

The group headed over to the Townmaster's Hall where they met with Sildar. They also met his raven haired Elf assistant Dawn Ah. They asked for their Goblin friend Droop back and Sildar Explained that he sold Droop to Daran Edermath as an indentured servent. He's apparently very good at digging for truffles.

So the adventures followed the ever so subtley dropped breadcrumbs to Edermath Orchard. Where they talked with Daran. He explained that a year ago there was a dispute with the Thundertree Orcs. They brought a posse and threatened Phandalin. Daran challanged their leader Sorigoth to single combat and was victorious. He took the sword as a trophy. Last night, after a few drinks with Toblen, he decided the Sword should have a more prominent place in the town, so he gave it to Toblen who mounted it above the bar in the common room of the Stonehill Inn. E.E. also bought the debt of Droop's indentured survitude freeing him to be able to leave if he wants. But, for now, it seems like he enjoys digging for truffles. Droop informed the adventurers that there is a hidden back entrence into Craigmaw Castle. Lastly at Edermath Orchard, they followed some Orc tracks to the edge of the Orchard, proving that there has been Orc activity recently.

Next our intrepid adventurers set out for Thundertree on their cart pulled by Meatball the Mule and Sir Tinnitus on his trusty steed, Teramorphus. They passed a carraige flying The Lords' Alliance bannars and Sir Tinnitus saw a person wearing a mirror mask inside. After 3 days travel and as many fights with Stirges and Goblins along the way, E.E. arrived at Thundertree to see a broken tower and hear the roar of what Sir Tinnitus would swear... was a Dragon.

Jan. 10, 2017
The party interrogated Glasstaff and learned that there are Bugbears around that know the location of Wave Echo Cave. They fought Glasstaff and managed to knock him out, taking his Staff and locking him in a cell while they investigated the Southwestern room. They discovered Droop, an abused Goblin who knows a secret entrance into Craigmaw Castle. They found 3 Redbrands who were just hanging out in their bunks and they promptly surrendered when presented with Glasstaff’s namesake weapon.

Upon leaving Tressendar Manor they noticed a sign that the Sleeping Giant was closed for renovations (and therapy for the Barmaid). They gathered the townsfolk and exposed the two-faced Town Master’s dealings with the Redbrands. No evidence was needed as Glasstaff and the 3 Redbrand grunts provided testimony. Glasstaff and the remaining Redbrands were taken off to be jailed in the Town Master’s Hall basement holding cells. Sildar proclaimed himself interim Townmaster until elections could be held. The party then visited The Lionshield Coster and where they saw Linene Graywind. They thought she owed them money. She did not. She was rude to them. As is her way. Next they visited Halia’s Home, but she wasn’t there. She works at the Miner’s Exchange during the day. Next was the Woodworker’s Shack and discovered Mirna, the woman they'd saved. She was reluctant to open the door because trauma. She did remind them of the Emerald Necklace that is at the ruins of Thundertree. She also told them to ask Qelline Alderleaf about her friend that was going to Thundertree.

Qelline Alderleaf asked them to check up on her Druid friend Reidoth who sent word from Thundertree that a great power had taken over the area. Reidoth was going there to study the native vegetation. Safona took with her a bottle of cow’s milk because reasons. They went to the Miner’s Exchange and converted money and finally they went back to the Stonehill Inn and discovered that they had let Droop get taken away with all of these Redbrands. They vowed to rescue him and then make their way to Thundertree.

Will our adventurers rescue Droop? What dangers will they find in the abandon town of Thundertree? Will Safona ever roll that 53-54 on her Wild Magic Surge table and become immune to the effects of alcohol for 5d6 days?

note (2017-01-23): Safona does not actually have the Wild Magic Sorcerous Origin. She is a Storm Sorcerer from an Unearthed Arcana.

Jan 4, 2017
The Party entered the cavern and spoke with the Nothic. You dragged a Redbrand in from the other room and gave it to him to eat. Then ambushed and killed him. Sir Tinnitus took his eye as a trophy. From there you walked into the Redbrand-rec-room where Tristin made a phenomenal deception roll to convince the drunk Redbrands that he and Safona were one of them and that they just found this trained bear (Peter). Safona offered to drink with them and play “Roll Bones.”  She rolled a 5 and so had to lose a finger. When 2 of the Redbrands grabbed her hand and threatened to cut off her finger Tristin and Peter attacked. They fought until 2 gave up. You forced them to race to draw a map to Craigmaw Castle and then bet on which would win. One already had an arrow sticking out of his chest. So Tristin bashed the other over the head… you know, to make it fair. The Arrow one won and Safona shot him with her crossbow. The one left drew his sword and slashed at Tristin cutting him twice. Then Peter mauled him to finish it.

You went North to the workshop and poked the rat with a sword. It evaporated into arcane smoke. You moved on to Glasstaff's Quarters. You found a note revealing Glasstaff to be Iarno Albrek. Peter sniffed out a secret door. Which lead you to a fleeing Glasstaff. A chase ensued and Peter turned into a Dire Wolf. You cornered Glasstaff by the southern part of the cavern.

Will our Adventurers make it out of the Redbrand Hideout alive? Will Glasstaff face justice? What ever happened to that elf barmaid that got, like, totally traumatized by witnessing a bear bite off the head of one of her regulars?

Dec. 28, 2016
The Party decided on a name: Expeditious Expeditions!

You exited the Sleeping Giant Ale House and were met by Sildar Hallwinter. He stressed the importance of finding his friend Iarno Albrek, a fellow member of The Lord's Alliance. You decided to travel to Tressendar Manor and enter the basement. Peter fell into the pit trap in the hallway leading to the Crypts forcing him to exit bear form. You triggered the Skeleton Guards in the Crypts because you were not wearing Red Cloaks. After the fight you put on the cloaks. After the fight Tristin took two Signet Rings from the caskets and Peter took one. (That's right.  The Cleric and the Druid, arguably the two holy men of the group, robbed 3 graves that the Pirate wouldn't go near.)  Next you entered the Slave Pens and were surprised by Two Redbrands. After dispatching one you interrogated the other one. He offered to give up the location of Cragmaw Castle, where you believe Gundren Rockseeker might be kept, but then you killed him on the behest of the captives before he could give you the location. Safona picked one lock and ray of frosted the other letting the captives go. Mirna then told you about an old emerald necklace heirloom of her family's that you could have as thanks for rescuing them.

Will Expeditious Expeditions find Iarno Albrek? Will they encounter this "Eye Monster" they've heard whispers of? Will they continue murdering every captive they take?